Dear Jesus,

You came to me for the first time in a while and spoke to me about manifesting:

“The length of your transition is aligned with manifestation. This is your way. You are “held” within the creative act until the manifesting is done. Is this not so?

It most certainly is.

And so, it is as it is. You are held within the creative act of forming new life. I am here to assure you that YOU ARE HELD. You are not “held up” by it. You are not stuck. You are becoming unstuck. A part of you knows this. A part of you is mourning your prison and the fellow prisoners you came to love. A part of you is rejoicing that the time of your bondage and the bondage of those you love is coming to an end. Embrace new life, as it embraces you. Know that you are doing so, even as you mourn. It is all of one piece, the mourning and the manifestation of the new. As the old is thoroughly released…that is when the new can come. No stage you pass through in this release is unnecessary.

But I am going to pass through it? I am going to get to the other side?

You are on that journey…in many ways. There is no end point to reach when you can say, “Oh! Change is behind me!” No. And yet you have felt those times of “everything is different,” and you have identified the necessity of the human self, needing to catch up to that difference. Slow, yet continual change, formed the mountains. The “life of a mountain” is a different lifespan than the life of a human, and the mountain is a different life “form.” You are etched in a different way. The knowing that “everything is different” is a deep knowing that does not negate the truth that change is continual, that your voice is not the same morning to afternoon, that no two days look or feel exactly the same. This will all feel more like a gift and less like a curse—in a short while.

Yes, Mari. Begin to believe that this is meant to be. Have faith in something new. Feel hopeful. That is perfectly alright. Feel what you feel. But yes, begin to believe. That will help you more than anything else that I can say. 

It feels so hard to … accept! To believe/to accept. Are they the same? I don’t know. I just know that your words are not making it so, and I so wish that they would.  

My words only acknowledge that it is so. Your words will do this too. As will the work of your hands. What you are doing is feeling what you are feeling. That is the way to come to acceptance. It will come. Begin. Begin to let go. Begin to form, to dream of a new life. Begin the movement and it will carry you.